to be honest life seems absolutely hilariously meaningless and meaningful at the same time. it's like how can something with so little meaning have so much at the same time. i have no idea. this is just how i feel. its' kinda hard to reconcile. the worst part is that i know deep down that both of these things can be true at the same time.
then why do i fight it? i dont know. if i know it can be true, why does it hurt? i dont know, it just does. i think when i look at people it just breaks my heart. when i look at our town, yeah that is pretty depressing, but when i look at people i just see these hopeless fragments, these bundles of dust, but yet they do have so much hope and nobody can deny them. there is always this balance of however far it goes in one direction, it goes just as far in the other, and this makes me doubt everything i hear anyone ever speak around me because unless they can understand that people are nothing and everything at the same time then i dont want to hear from them or talk to them.
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